Happiness Blog May 20, 2019

When negative feelings about the past linger, that usually indicates that there has been no forgiveness about a past event. The most important person to forgive is yourself. We must accept that we cannot change the past. By forgiving yourself, you are freeing up the energy necessary to create change in the future. No one is perfect, and holding onto past mistakes we have made increases anxiety and emotional reactivity. Holding onto our mistakes creates guilt, which in turn increases defensiveness. (read more…)

Happiness Blog May 13, 2019

Building on last week, ask yourself why you still have negative feelings about things from your past. This can help you unpack and examine those feelings. We should ask ourselves: what events do I feel bitter or angry about? Once we know what events, if any, we are holding onto, we can begin the process of unpacking and examining what about these events is preventing us from letting go. Exploring the cause of those feelings leads to a better understanding of what those feelings are and where they come from. For example, is the underlying emotion injustice, hurt, loss, or something else? Once you have identified the underlying emotion, you can do the work to gain healing. If it is injustice, can you right the wrong or contribute to mitigating the negative impact of the injustice? If it is hurt, what would give you healing? If it is loss, grieve the loss and give yourself closure. This is the process of unpacking and examining what about this event is preventing us from letting go. (read more…)

Happiness Blog May 6, 2019

Resentment is toxic and ruins positive feelings and prevents hope from blossoming. Resentment is also something we learn to feel. Resentment is a function of our emotional reasoning. When our emotional reasoning tells us that actions or situation are a threat to satisfying our needs and this thought is met with the belief that this is out of our control, we feel resentment. Being wronged coupled with a lack of control or inability to have a fair or just outcome results in resentment. What and how this is triggered is unique to each person. When people interpret emotional information how it is interpreted will either lead to satisfaction, frustration, anger, or neutrality. (read more…)

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